Did you notice my name is different? I’m no longer the Psychic Femme, I’m LOCAL ORACLE. The name change happened for several reasons. Firstly, I must say, I still love the Psychic Femme, and feel very connected to her as an archetype. I see the Psychic Femme as the embodiment of crone energy, meaning, she’s seen it all, she rejects nothing, and knows (like really really really knows) you are fucking high if you believe we are separate from one another. And for me, knowing we are all connected in real ways means unconditional love is way more gnarly and complex than new agers make it seem (suck a dick new agers! JK but only kinda). Unconditional love is not about tolerating people with different…whatever, it's not about accepting other people’s…whatever. Unconditional love is waaaaaay more intense. It’s total love. It’s allowing yourself to fall in love with a complete stranger. Even if their politics are wrong, their face is wrong, and they offend your sense of decency. Unconditional love is complete self emptying, which is another way of saying, it is a process of deprogramming everything you think you know. Can you let yourself completely love every inch of another person? So much so that you don’t want to fix them? It’s rare.
If you can figure out how to unconditionally love another person, you may have come into that wisdom through some tough times. Like, gut-wrenching, absolute existential shit storms. Me too.
For me, the Psychic Femme was a good fit during a time in my life where I was experimenting with the vastness of unconditional love. It was a toe-deep plunge into the psychedelic, multidimensional pool that is spiritual law (as opposed to moral law). And then the experimentation became a foot-deep situation, followed by one entire leg, then the other, and by the time I realized I actually didn’t want to fuck around and find out anything else concerning spiritual law, unconditional love, crone wisdom, the matrix; what have you, it was too late. Spiritual awakenings had already jacked my shit up so hard.
Awakenings, as in more than one. I’ve had a couple and I’d like to write about them in depth at some point, if only to help normalize the experience for people. The first happened when I was twenty. The second when I was thirty. The third, a Kundalini awakening, was in 2017, and the most recent one (the worst but most profound) exploded my heart chakra open which was weird since I didn’t even really know what a heart chakra was, occurred in 2021. All of these awakenings were special and sacred and have completely colored the way I experience reality and how I move through the world. What I have come to believe, however, is that there is nothing unique about these phenomena, that there are many people in the world having similar experiences. Of all the suspicions I have around the many shames I carry, I am the most suspicious of the shame I carry over my spiritual awakenings.
I was affected profoundly by all of these awakenings; obviously. In various ways, although I tell you some specifics. Since 2017 I am able to read people’s fears. Sensing fear is so clear to me, I forget all the time that other people can’t read it as clearly. I know with certainty when someone’s behavior is motivated or driven by their fear (which is normal, so many of us are all just walking around terrified). I can gauge the intensity of it, where they generally carry it in the body, how it effects them, and where this fear is blocking them.
The heart chakra opening I had in 2020 helped me see what people can specifically do to heal. The problem that I see over and over again is that many people don’t actually want to heal. Or rather, they think that their fear is a better option than the unknown that lay on the other side of whatever it is blocking. Healing is terrifying, and I get this, because there are so many times the friends I have who engage as adamantly as I do in shadow work lament: instead of doing all this healing work why can’t I just be a basic bitch who watches basic bitch TV shows and does whatever basic bitches like to do whatever that is? OK, that is actually solely my lament. Honestly, I don’t even know what a basic bitch looks like, I guess for all of us this is more of a subjective concept than anything. The point is, why did I take the red pill instead of the BB pill, my gawd. This work is exhausting.
So, LOCAL ORACLE. For me, LOCAL ORACLE is informed by Einstein's Theory of Relativity. There is no objective center (of the universe but also the metaphorical universe), because everything serves as it’s own center. Spiritual law tells us we have to locate ourselves as the center, and trust that we are sovereign, our own authority, our own oracle. Did you get that? You are your own oracle. But. Big but. We can only serve as our own oracle when we’ve done the work. When we’ve healed. And you’ll know this is where you are when your ambitions have aligned with wanting to help others. That formula sounds oversimplified and it is, but simple is not the same thing as easy.
I don’t believe anything exceptional happened to me. I think a lot of people out there are spiritual powerhouses, but if they are like me, the whole concept is cringe and practically begging to be ignored or dealt with by someone else. Some people dose themselves with meds to suppress this energy, others just don't recognize what is happening to them. They have unexplained illnesses, food sensitivities, and trying relationships with others they find impossible to navigate. These are common but limiting examples.
For myself, I’m constantly reprogramming the colonizer bullshit narrative I carry about spirituality and healing and healers. Thank god I’ve been able to witness other people who have had multiple spiritual awakenings act non new-agey, meaning, they don’t push toxic positivity, nor are they trying to sell ease. Ease is not on the menu anymore, not in this spiritual economy, but we can certainly aim for simple.
LOCAL ORACLE, for the rest of August (and I’ll let you know when and where thereafter), will be available for readings on Thursdays at Homeroom (located in downtown Missoula at 101 E Broadway St) or online via Zoom (also on Thursdays) for the rest of August. You can email me at suejoy86@gmail.com to schedule a 30 or 60 minute reading online. In person readings can also be scheduled, and I recommend this, but I do take walk-ins and offer 15 minute readings if you come in.
The readings are tarot. I don’t need the cards to read your spiritual situation, but they're kinda fun. I’ll tell you what is happening, and I’ll tell you what will help, and the rest is up to you. Feel free to send this to someone you know who might benefit from a session with me. As always, I love you and when I tell you I love you, I mean it. I really do. It hurts a little bit, to love this way, but that’s OK. It’s my greatest ambition.